its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
