I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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