Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize