I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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