That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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