nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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