I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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