U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
