Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
