Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think your dad took our porno
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
