Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
