okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
