i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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