Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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