this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
