are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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