if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
