I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize