thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize