I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You can't motorboat a personality
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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