Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize