To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
