Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
