If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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