i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The best revenge is premature balding
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
