And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize