after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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