why didn't you poke me back
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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