i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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