last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
