..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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