Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
