His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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