Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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