Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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