based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
