I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
