i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
