loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
