Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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