and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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