Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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