Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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