WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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