my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize