Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
