my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize