You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
