Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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