It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i out mim tonsoeep
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