Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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