i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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