dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
