She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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