So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
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i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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