Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
