We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
