Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
