if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
