By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
