you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
