do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Randomize
