dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
