what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
