is your mom at the bar?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
